FAITHFUL TO MY FIRST MINISTRY

"A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands" — Proverbs 14:1 (NKJV).

I want to share something God has made deeply personal to me: a reminder that our first ministry, as wives, is our marriage—even when we’re called to serve in leadership. I haven’t always lived that truth. Early in my leadership journey, I believed the lie. I thought I needed a platform. A program. A brand. I thought I had to be “doing something big” to prove I was making a difference. My mindset was, “while my husband does his thing, I’ll do mine.”

After all, isn’t that what we often see celebrated? But what we don’t see are the strained homes behind the polished photos—the tired smiles, the women leading teams and projects while their marriages quietly drift apart. I was heading in that same direction. I even shared this in my book Leading Ladies. One day, my husband looked at me and asked: “Why can’t you just be happy being my wife?” Whew. That question pierced my heart. The truth was, I was wrestling with rejection. That rejection had me chasing affirmation… through achievement.

But here’s what I learned: no accomplishment can heal the ache of an unhealed heart. No applause from people can replace the joy of hearing “Well done” from the Lord—and from the man God joined you with. God began to speak to me through Proverbs 14:1 (NKJV): "A wise woman builds her house..." He wasn’t calling me to build my résumé first—He was calling me to build my home. I made a choice: if my husband is walking in his assignment, my assignment is to be present for him. Not from duty, but from honor. Not from pressure, but from purpose. I became intentional about making myself available to him—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—before pouring into everyone else. Because if I give my best to my role in leadership but leave my marriage on autopilot, I’ve missed my first ministry.

And my prayer has been to live Proverbs 31:29 (NKJV): "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all." I want my husband to be able to say that about me—not just because I loved him in words, but because I loved him with priority. I honored the role God gave me. I built with wisdom.

Ephesians 5:22 (NKJV) reminds us: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." When we walk in God’s order, there is blessing and peace. James 4:10 (NKJV) says: "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." I’ve seen this firsthand. When I placed my marriage in its rightful priority and surrendered the need to constantly “prove” myself, God opened doors—without striving. And He opened the right doors, at the right time, with my husband by my side cheering me on.

You are not forgotten. You are not small. You are not “just the wife.” You are his partner. You are his crown. And if God has called you to stand by his side, that role is holy. Let’s be women who lead with excellence in public but remain present and engaged in private. Women who use their gifts to serve others but never neglect the calling to build their homes with wisdom. I haven’t arrived yet, but I press forward. And I will be faithful to my first ministry, in Jesus’ name.

Say this out loud: I press forward, and I will be faithful to my first ministry in Jesus’ name!

Rev. Lorna Burch has been married to Dr. Raymond Burch Jr. for 28 years, and together they have three adult children and many spiritual children. An ordained minister in the Church of God (Cleveland, Tennessee), she served as the Women’s Ministries Director for the New Jersey Church of God State Executive Office until 2026, a member of the African Descent Ministries Board, and a member of the SpiritCare Board under the Care Division, serving retired ministers and widows. She holds a master’s degree in Theology, a Doctorate of Ministry, and certifications in marriage and family counseling, Rev. Burch is a preacher, teacher, mentor, author of Leading Ladies, The Prescription for Protection, co-author of Momentum in Marriage, and a recording artist with her debut single Lost in His Love. Her passion is to encourage women to lead with excellence in public while remaining present and faithful in their first ministry at home.