LEADING THROUGH LONELINESS: HOW TO DISCIPLE TOWARD COMMUNITY AND MENTAL WELLNESS

As women in leadership, we often pour ourselves into others—encouraging, guiding, mentoring—yet many of us quietly wrestle with loneliness. We show up with strength and grace, while inside we sometimes wonder, who truly sees me? Who is walking alongside me?

Loneliness isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. It’s a very human experience—even Jesus experienced isolation in the Garden of Gethsemane. But as leaders, we have both the opportunity and responsibility to model how to navigate these feelings in healthy, faith-filled ways. Not just for our own sake, but for those we lead.

Loneliness in Leadership

Leadership can feel isolating, especially in ministry roles where boundaries blur and expectations can be heavy. We often experience the polar feelings of fearing vulnerability because it will undermine our credibility or feel like there is no safe place to unpack our own burdens. Or worse, we wonder if anyone cares about our own feelings at all. While those feelings can be challenging, pretending we have it all together can deepen that isolation and set an unrealistic standard for those we lead.

We need to normalize honest conversations about loneliness and mental health—not only for ourselves but for our communities. One of the most powerful things a leader can do is say, “Me too. I understand. You’re not alone.”

The Power of Discipleship in Combatting Loneliness

Discipleship is more than mentoring; it’s walking alongside others in genuine, Christ-centered relationship. Jesus didn't just teach the disciples—He did life with them. He laughed, grieved, prayed, and broke bread with them. The church of Acts also modeled this Christ-centered idea of “doing life” together (Acts 2:42–47). Raw. Real. Vulnerable.

Here’s how we can disciple others in a way that fosters deep community and promotes mental wellness:

1. Lead with Vulnerability

When we’re honest about our own struggles, it opens the door for others to do the same. Vulnerability invites trust and creates sacred space for healing. Share your journey—not just your victories, but the valleys too. I learned a long time ago, trying to lead with perfection doesn’t work. I am not perfect. I do my best, of course. But Christ never called us to perfection. It is so freeing to really take hold of that. He doesn’t ask for perfection; He simply asks for a willing and obedient heart.

2. Build Intentional Connections

Loneliness thrives in passivity. Discipleship calls for intentionality. Start small—invite one or two women to meet regularly for prayer, Scripture, and conversation. Consistency and presence are powerful antidotes to isolation.

I further encourage you to be intentional in building friendship for yourself. Invite someone you’ve admired from afar for coffee. Write someone the Lord has placed on your heart a text or a nice card in the mail. These small efforts may grow into a beautiful and long-lasting relationship with other like-minded, like-hearted women.

3. Encourage Mental Health Awareness

Remind those you disciple that mental health and spiritual health are deeply connected. Encourage counseling, rest, and professional help when needed—without shame. Faith and therapy can go hand-in-hand.

4. Empower Others to Lead

Community grows when it multiplies. Empower those you’re discipling to step into leadership themselves. Help them see that they, too, have something to offer—even from a place of brokenness.

Creating a Culture of Connection

If we want to see loneliness decrease and mental health thrive in our ministries, we need to foster a culture where people feel seen, known, and safe. That starts with us. The way we show up—authentic, compassionate, Spirit-led—sets the tone for those around us.

Let’s be women who disciple with depth, who build communities that reflect the heart of Christ: welcoming, healing, and whole.

You’re not alone, sister. And someone out there is waiting for the community you’ll help create.

Yvette Santana has served the Lord and the church since her youth. Her passions are education and equipping women to ensure that all have an equal opportunity to fulfill their dreams and live up to their God-given potential.

She holds a doctorate in Education, a master’s degree in Educational Psychology and a bachelor’s degree in Sociology. She has served in ministry together with her husband for over 35 years as Evangelists, Youth and Education directors, Evangelism Directors, Regional Women’s Discipleship Director and Lead Pastors, where they oversaw the rebranding- revitalization of three congregations.

Currently, she serves as co-lead pastor with her husband of Abundant Life church in Chandler, Arizona and also as a K-12 counselor in public schools.

Yvette is married to Samuel and together they have two sons Samuel II and David, who as young adults continue to bring them much joy.